... and Another

This weekend was supposed to be a highlight for Nancy, with her Dad, her brother and his family coming for a visit. Unfortunately, early yesterday morning, about 2:30 a.m., Nancy had a seizure. It wasn't a long seizure -- maybe only a minute or less, but there was no mistaking the signs... it was a seizure. I was afraid that the seizure would last a long time, but it didn't. Initially, I could tell Nancy was frightened and she felt anxious. I tried to assure her that I was by her side and that she was OK. After spending a little time trying to calm her, I realized that she didn't really respond to my words except to open her eyes each time I called her name. At this point, I phoned the hospice night call number and was told there would be a visit from the "on call" nurse within an hour. By the time the nurse, Peg, arrived with a companion, Nancy was responding a little more than immediately after the seizure -- but her responses were still weak and confused. I was relieved to find that Nancy didn't remember that she had a seizure. In fact, each time I told her, she didn't remember that she was told about the seizure before either. Peg said that Nancy was following a typical pattern of post-seizure behavior. After speaking with Nancy's oncologist, Dr. VanAmburg, who just happened to be on call for the weekend, Peg started Nancy on lorazapam, a benzodiazapine that is often prescribed for anxiety. She said it could help prevent a future seizure, but other medication would be available on Monday should this prove inadequate. Peg and her assistant helped me a lot by teaching me some tricks to work with Nancy now that she was less responsive and may not be able to get out of bed. Those hospice nurses are great. When the nurse left, the house was quiet again. Nancy seemed to be resting and totally unaffected by the recent string of events.

I don't think I slept after that because sleep was the last thing I felt I could do at that point.

Later, Amy & Henry picked up our niece, Becky, at the airport at 9:00 a.m. and brought her over to the house. Nancy was starting to feel a little more awake and spoke with Becky, as well as she could. I realized that there had been a definite change in Nancy's ability to communicate, when compared to before the seizure. Nancy's short term memory seemed to be limited and she failed to remember more words for things that she wanted me to bring her or do for her. I could tell she was frustrated by this and I began to worry that if this trend continued, soon I would be unable to understand what Nancy wanted and needed by relying on the things she said.

By lunchtime, Nancy's Dad, her brother Dick, her sister-in-law, Sharon and their son, Andy arrived by car from the Chicago area. Everyone was sad that Nancy seemed to be having so much trouble communicating, but we all tried to support her and offer suggestions when the words she searched for were not the words she wanted to use.

Nancy is now definitely unable to get up anymore. She hardly has enough strength in her arms to pick up a drink glass and bring it to her mouth. All of her personal hygiene activities must now be attended to while she remains in the hospital bed. I had to inform the home health care agency of this change so they would be prepared when they arrive tomorrow morning to stay with Nancy while I am at work. At one point, I made everyone leave the room while I changed Nancy's bedding and attended to some of her hygiene needs and I realized that just these simple activities really tired Nancy out. However, when I asked her if she wanted to rest -- and for me to keep everyone away while she rested -- she said, "No, I want them back." That response was a pleasant surprise for me to hear and it let me know that even though the post-seizure decline and her new medicine would make communication more difficult, Nancy was still happy to have her extended family around her and she didn't want to miss spending this time with them.

The rest of the family, Ryan & Kelly, arrived before dinner and Nancy got plenty of time to visit with everyone. After dinner, the young people left to see Ryan & Kelly's loft downtown and to visit the City Museum, where Kelly is doing her summer internship. The rest of us (older folks) visited with Nancy and each other and then went to bed at a reasonable hour -- in contrast to the much later time our kids would be in bed. No more seizures in the night... yea!

Nancy's family left today, a little after noon. While they were here, they not only visited with Nancy, but they helped me with some of the "around home" chores -- Dick helped by spreading insecticide on the lawn and running errands. Sharon helped around the kitchen and with the laundry. Everybody else helped with food preparation, clean-up and by keeping Nancy company and bringing some happiness to her day.

Kelly's friend and former roommate, Ellen, came to visit this afternoon and they are now planning on visiting Doug and some of their other friends for the remainder of the day. I told Kelly that I remember something I hadn't thought about since our kids were small. That is, when your kids take a nap, you need to take one too. Don't try to clean or organize or catch up on other work. Take a nap -- you will need your strength for when they awake. Now, I realize that I am a little tired so I think I will take a nap -- along with Nancy.